2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
