Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
