chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I love having hate sex.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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