Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
