I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
