Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
