THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
