I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
