Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
