we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i love accidental penises.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
