well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
