Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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