Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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