weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just pee around me
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
