We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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