Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
