Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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