i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
