You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
