After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
