Umm I'm too high to move.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
