none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
