$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
