dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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