it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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