it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I got inside last night via doggy door
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
