my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I will be naked everywhere
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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