Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
