My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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