i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
