you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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