If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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