Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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