Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
