I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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