No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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