You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
