i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize