my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize