but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
