Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
