so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
