those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
