I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
