Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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