just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she looked like the before picture.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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