I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
