She is in my trunk
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
