Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
