I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
