Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
This show inspires me to have sex in space
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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