hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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