Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
