I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
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