tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
