A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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