I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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