if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
