Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
