my text book just quoted the cookie monster
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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