He asked to "fluff my boner.."
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
