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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.

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• (714): View more from California

  Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.

  (562): View more from California

  You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.

  (714): View more from California

  Well someones bitter they didn't get any.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.

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• (707): View more from California

  They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.

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