Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
