i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
