I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
