I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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